Tomboy vs. Girly Girl

Two of my 3 children are girls; the oldest, Bella and the youngest, Annie.  They are completely opposite. 

Halloween 2012

Bella playing b-ball with the boys.

When Bella was 2, my mom bought her a baby doll and a play shopping cart.  The baby doll went untouched.  My husband bought her a baseball and bat....that she picked up right away. 

She was a natural.  When she was 2 1/2 she started to refuse to wear dresses, and insisted we call her 'Bella' as opposed to her full name: Isabelle.  We thought it was adorable....a true Tomboy. 

She had no interest in my make-up, hated having her nails painted, and would cry if I tried to do anything remotely cute with her long, beautiful hair.  As she got older the tomboy in her got more pronounced.  She wanted short hair when she was 4, wouldn't wear anything on her feet besides tennis shoes, would rather play golf in the back yard with daddy, wanted to wear board shorts and no shirt instead of a bikini (or even a one piece). 

She wanted to be a superhero, a power ranger, wolverine, tiger, a bear.  I had bought her a big, pink, ruffly princess dress when she was 3 and she never wore it.  So, we had a little tomboy.  A BEAUTIFUL tomboy I might add.  

Make-up is a usual at play dates.

Now, fast forward 6 years. 

Into the world, like a true drama queen entered ANNIE!  Drama, Drama, Drama.  She is now 4 1/2 and if you ask anyone she's ever been in contact with, they'd tell you she is one of the girliest girls you'll ever meet. 

Everything is bejeweled, bedazzled, pink, fluffy, and covered with lip gloss.

Annie's been walking in high heels since she was 20 months old (seriously), playing in make-up and the self proclaimed queen of our household. Where on earth did she come from?  I know I'm not THAT girly.  She has a zillion baby dolls, even more barbies, every princess movie made by Disney, and has over 10 tutus hanging in her closet.

Trying on every pair of high heels.

Great story, Nadine......what's the point? 

Though there are many, many mistakes Mike and I have made as parents, I think encouraging our girls to be who they are is one of our greatest successes.  Neither of them have been compared to each other or told they have to be something different.  We've let Bella run around the yard without a shirt on and let Annie wear make-up in public....we've told them they're both beautiful and talented and loved.  The result is 2 girls who are happy and confident.

Bella & Annie

The need to be perfect not just better.

About a year ago, I was at the local YMCA with a good friend.  We were leaving and had our youngest children in tow (two 3 year old toddlers and an 18 mo old....two of them were hers).  As we stood talking in the parking lot, she loaded her kids into the van and then, it happened....she shut the door with her purse on the front seat and locked her 2 children in the car! They were both securely buckled into their car seats.  She was panicked and asked me to run to her house and see if I could find her spare key for the van, while she was being helped by some of the Y staff.
I drove to her house, walked in the door and was SHOCKED.  Her house was spotless.  Seriously spotless.
*This friend is one I have many times compared myself to.....she is beautiful, thin (with nicely sized breasts I might add), and when I had gone to her house on previous occasions, she was well organized and had great decorating style.*
Ok, back to the spotless house.  My house is nice and clean when I have visitors....at least the areas that they will see!  But here, as I walked into her house and searched her "junk" drawer for her spare key, I was blown away. It was perfectly organized.  Every room I walked into was clean.  Beds were made, no clothes laying out, toys in their proper place.  How was it that she had it all together??  If I were to send someone to my house unexpectedly, they'd find dishes in the sink, the table not cleared, toys laying around....and if they were to venture into my "junk" drawer, they'd see just that; a bunch of junk.
I started feeling really bad about myself.  Seriously, how is it that she can do all this.  She is involved with her children's school, involved at church, has time to go to the gym, wakes up every morning at 6 and MAKES breakfast, throws great birthday parties, sews AND keeps her house spotless.  Wow.  There is no comparison.  She must be perfect.
As I sat down that night with Mike (my husband...you'll hear more about him, later I'm sure), I told him about what happened.  Without thinking, he says, "isn't it cool that you're not like her but yet our kids are so well adjusted?"  Talk about a reality check.  He was right.  I wasn't like her, I never will be and I don't need to be.  My kids were happy and healthy despite me not having it all together.  It was then I embraced my messy house, small breasts and inability to sew.  Why should I put that pressure on myself?  How tiring and what a blow to my security it was to compare myself with her.
Here's a wonderful quote (that I found in a magazine sometime ago) I have had taped to my mirror to remind me of what's important:
"How do you resist the pressure to be Supermom? 

R to L: SIL Callie, me and Brittany.

' I understand the temptation to be hard on yourself because you want to give your kids the best, but every mother makes mistakes.  To be a better mom, you have to have the self-confidence to believe that you're doing the best you can, and that's good enough'."

This is dedicated to a wonderful friend, Brittany.  I know you're not perfect but you inspire me! I will miss you terribly. :)

Welcome!!

Wow....so, I'm doing it.  I'm starting a blog.  Some of you are saying, "again?".....hahaha, yes, again. But this time is different, I promise. 
This is a blog that is about being a Real Life Mom.  Not what you see on Facebook, Instagram....it's what happens behind the scenes.  The outtakes of photos; you know, the ones where your children are fighting, where you can see the unfolded laundry in the background, where you are still in your pajamas and haven't showered yet (and it's 3 in the afternoon).  Yes, a blog about reality.  So, be prepared.....here you will read how I don't like cooking and my children eat cereal in the morning instead of homemade waffles.   Aren't you tired of seeing all the hoopla and smiles that cause you to compare your type of mothering with another?
Here is a sneak peek of our family life:
1. I sleep in as long as possible before waking the kids up for school: the bus (yes, my kids ride the bus) comes at 8:35 and I typically wake them up at 7:45.  I wake up at 7:44. 
2. Sometimes they eat lunch at school....yup, I don't pack them lunch everyday and when I do, it's not organic.
3. On the weekends, my kids have more than 2 hours of "screen time".
4.  Piles of laundry overflow, and when they are washed, they most likely sit on the couch for days before being folded and put away.
5.  I let my kids dress themselves, resulting in my oldest daughter wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, my son will sometimes try to wear the same shirt 2 days in a row (if there's no stains, I don't care) and my youngest daughter, will wear purple star tights under green shorts, and a pink striped tutu dress over them both.
6. Sometimes we have cereal for dinner....well, more than sometimes, probably twice a week.
7. I don't require them to clean their rooms daily....or weekly for that matter.

Ok, before you call CPS on me here is some other information about our family life:

1. I volunteer in each of their classrooms once a week and serve on my daughter's preschool board.
2. Every night, my husband and I take turns cuddling each of the children until they fall asleep.
3. My husband and I attend (and help coach) EVERY basketball, football, ballet performance of theirs.
4.  Even if we have cereal for dinner, we all sit down together at the table and talk about our best and worst parts of our day.
5. Though they may dress like little crazies, they're clean. :)
6. We believe in saying "i love you" out of the blue,  & extra kisses and hugs for no reason.
7. We teach them what it means to love, be polite, support each other, respect others and that their feelings are valid.

If I haven't run you off by now, I think you'll like this blog. ;) Stay tuned, there will be more, though I can't promise one a day.....that's a high standard. haha.