The need to be perfect not just better.

About a year ago, I was at the local YMCA with a good friend.  We were leaving and had our youngest children in tow (two 3 year old toddlers and an 18 mo old....two of them were hers).  As we stood talking in the parking lot, she loaded her kids into the van and then, it happened....she shut the door with her purse on the front seat and locked her 2 children in the car! They were both securely buckled into their car seats.  She was panicked and asked me to run to her house and see if I could find her spare key for the van, while she was being helped by some of the Y staff.
I drove to her house, walked in the door and was SHOCKED.  Her house was spotless.  Seriously spotless.
*This friend is one I have many times compared myself to.....she is beautiful, thin (with nicely sized breasts I might add), and when I had gone to her house on previous occasions, she was well organized and had great decorating style.*
Ok, back to the spotless house.  My house is nice and clean when I have visitors....at least the areas that they will see!  But here, as I walked into her house and searched her "junk" drawer for her spare key, I was blown away. It was perfectly organized.  Every room I walked into was clean.  Beds were made, no clothes laying out, toys in their proper place.  How was it that she had it all together??  If I were to send someone to my house unexpectedly, they'd find dishes in the sink, the table not cleared, toys laying around....and if they were to venture into my "junk" drawer, they'd see just that; a bunch of junk.
I started feeling really bad about myself.  Seriously, how is it that she can do all this.  She is involved with her children's school, involved at church, has time to go to the gym, wakes up every morning at 6 and MAKES breakfast, throws great birthday parties, sews AND keeps her house spotless.  Wow.  There is no comparison.  She must be perfect.
As I sat down that night with Mike (my husband...you'll hear more about him, later I'm sure), I told him about what happened.  Without thinking, he says, "isn't it cool that you're not like her but yet our kids are so well adjusted?"  Talk about a reality check.  He was right.  I wasn't like her, I never will be and I don't need to be.  My kids were happy and healthy despite me not having it all together.  It was then I embraced my messy house, small breasts and inability to sew.  Why should I put that pressure on myself?  How tiring and what a blow to my security it was to compare myself with her.
Here's a wonderful quote (that I found in a magazine sometime ago) I have had taped to my mirror to remind me of what's important:
"How do you resist the pressure to be Supermom? 

R to L: SIL Callie, me and Brittany.

' I understand the temptation to be hard on yourself because you want to give your kids the best, but every mother makes mistakes.  To be a better mom, you have to have the self-confidence to believe that you're doing the best you can, and that's good enough'."

This is dedicated to a wonderful friend, Brittany.  I know you're not perfect but you inspire me! I will miss you terribly. :)