And We're Stepping Into a New Phase.....

Bella turned 11 this year!

May is always a big month for us, mostly because both Ethan and Bella's birthdays fall here.  It becomes birthday madness as I have confessed before I go overboard with birthday and holidays.  This year proved to be no different.  I had no choice but to throw back to back parties due to scheduling issues.  Bella had 10 friends sleep over (ten 10 year old girls....screaming....and chasing each other.....and screaming...until 2 am.) Friday night and Saturday, Ethan had 8 friends for an outdoor Boy vs. Wild party.  It took me 3 days to recover from feeling completely exhausted.

Ethan turned 9!

This year, it was bigger....we had more going on that just birthdays.  We had more than one transition to walk through.  Not just Mother's Day, either.....which, thankfully was low key.  This year, the month of May was all about change, moving on, transition, new phases in life, new chapters, getting older (insert sad face and sigh).

All through out my life, I have embraced the new phases that have come.  When I think about it though, it's really because they've been fun and exciting!  Graduating from high school and going to college....turning 21......finishing college.....getting married.....having our first baby....having our second baby.....buying our first house.....having our third baby....turning 30.......and then the "fun" pretty much ended there.  OK......don't get me wrong.  Hear me out before you start getting all upset and judging me.  I would be really surprised it some of you moms didn't feel the same way.  Maybe your transition didn't happen at the same age, but at the same STAGE as me.  Do you see what stage I'm talking about?  Where all the major "FIRSTS" are done and the "YOUNG" part of life has gone.  Yes, the 30's are still young....so are the 40's and I'm sure when I'm in my 50's they will still be young, too. :)

Annie "accepting her diploma"!

Back to my point, this May marked my official transition into the next phase of my life.  I am no longer in the "baby making phase" and I have also moved on from having any children at home with me during the day. :(  Yup, this May, our youngest, Annie "graduated" from preschool and (sorry to rat you out babe) my husband graciously had a vasectomy.  Sigh.  And we're stepping into a new phase......this one, I'm not sure about.  If you want me to be honest, it just makes me feel old and a bit scared. What is this new phase of being a mom like?  My baby is headed off to Kindergarten in the fall which means I'm going to be a mom of all school aged kids.  Everyone will be gone from 8:30-3:30.  I will have all this "free time".   If you had asked me a month ago if I was looking forward to all the kids being in school during the day, my answer was a resounding, "YES!!!".  The fantasy of all this time to myself, to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted was amazing.  Ask any mother who has children at home....the thought of that is a dream.   Now when you ask me, I'm a little unsure....unsure of what it's like to be by myself.  I have to remember out who I AM again.  Who I am without kids hanging off my hip 24/7.  Maybe that's what's so scary.   I won't be one of those young moms all cute and pregnant again, which I loved.  When you see me at the grocery store, I won't have an adorable baby in the cart or strapped to me.  I won't breastfeed again.  I can't be part of the preschool co-op. This is a life I've known for 11 years.  Always having young children right next to or on me, getting minimal sleep, hearing little voices and the pitter-patter of little feet running in the house during the day.  I'm sad to leave it behind.  I'm a bit scared to get older.

Bella's 1st day of Kindergarten

Ethan's Kindergarten Party

 I know, I know.....I'm starting to sound like "Negative Nancy" and not seeing the positives of the situation.  I hope you all understand what I'm saying....I'm going to miss this part of my life and I do look forward to the future and watching my children grow.  Plus, I have plans.  Plans to be at the gym 2 hours a day like I did before kids. :)  Plans on actually making a phone call to a friend without having to ask her to hold on while I scold my kids in the background.  Plans on doing my hair and make-up every day.....shoot....plans to shower every day.  Plans on picking up a hobby.  Plans to just carry a wallet or clutch to the store instead of a huge purse filled with snacks and miscellaneous games to keep my kids busy while I shop. Plans to even have an afternoon lunch date with my husband.  I'm sure I'll survive the transition, as have the many moms before me.  :)

This is dedicated to all my friends who little ones are moving on and you are having to move on, too.  We can do this and maybe we can even start having our own "play dates" over lunch and margaritas.