Icing on the Cake.

We had a little blow up in our house the other day.  I had bought the kids new buckets to take to the beach.  Annie was with me when I got them, so she chose the colors for all of them: Green for her, Yellow for Bella and Orange for Ethan.  That did not go over well with her siblings.  Bella freaked out because her favorite color is green and Annie claimed her new favorite color is green and Bella said she was just copying her and Annie argued back.  Then Ethan chimed in and said Annie was being selfish and Annie started crying and Bella was crying because I wouldn't just give her the green bucket and Ethan got upset because I asked him to step out of the situation.  At this point the 2 girls would not be quiet so I could get a word in....and my fuse was burning FAST.  To be honest, I was most upset at Bella because she is almost 11 and it was over a STUPID BUCKET!!!  What was the big deal?  It wasn't like I bought Annie a new green car and made Bella drive a pink one.  And even if I had, I was upset that the entitlement over the green bucket arose over the greatfullness of getting a new bucket in the first place.  So, I told her she had a choice of having the yellow bucket or no bucket.  She chose NO bucket!  OMG.  I was pissed.  I immediately had her deliver the new, yellow bucket to our 4 year old neighbor as a gift.  (Another instance came up that day involving the older 2 fighting over a basketball and this time it was with Mike.)

Mike and I had a long conversation later that evening about how astonished we were that our children were acting so ungrateful and entitled and selfish.....where did we go wrong?  What had we missed?  Then we realized what we needed to do.  We needed to (not only punish them for their actions also have consequences) talk to them about what is really important in life.  Cliche, I know, but it's true.  Had Bella known what really matters in life, would she have freaked over the bucket?  Had Bella and Ethan really known what was important would they have fought, and if they still fought, would they have chosen to forgive each other easier and quicker?  If Mike and I had known what really mattered in life a year ago, would we have felt the need to "keep up with the Joneses"?

my Pop and my kids: Father's Day 2012

My Pop (step-dad of 24 years) passed away last August.....he lost a 3 year battle with cancer.  During that time, I remember my mom saying several times, "does it matter who does ______?  Pop is dying!"  She was right.  We wasted moments arguing or being mad at each other when we could have been spending time supporting each other and spending more time with Pop. (This wasn't something that happened often, but you get the point) Our family lost so much when we lost Pop.....so much, I can't even begin to list it all.  Life can change in an instant....don't waste time on insignificant things.

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  Mike and the kids made me a really SWEET banner covered in their feet and hand prints that said: "These feet will always run to you and these hand will always hug you."  We spent the day at the beach, came home and had a nice dinner together. 

We always talk at dinner time.....things like: What was your favorite part of today? What's your favorite animal? And we go around the table and share.  Last night Mike and I talked with them about what's really important.  I asked them, would you rather have a big house with a pool, instead of mommy?  Would you rather have a billion dollars than daddy?  Would you rather have more toys than have your brother or sister?  When we put it that way, they got it.

We then had them share something they are thankful for that money couldn't buy. 
Ethan said: dinner time with my family. 
Bella said: cuddling with mommy and daddy before bed. 
Annie said:  building forts with Bella and Ethan and Daddy and Mommy. 

Anything more than your family is just icing on the cake.  If you can be content with that, you can be content anywhere.